In Love With A Husband, Only He's Not Mine...

I've been seeing a guy for 3 years now. We never fight, have a great time together, can tell each other ANYTHING...Everything is PERFECT! Okay well ALMOST perfect, One problem is that he's married to someone who is not ME. I can't count the amount of times he's told me he loved me & how happy I've made him. But recently, with it being a "New Year" & all he's getting alot of pressure from co-workers about their "perfect lives of wedded bliss" & he's starting to feel guilty about his infidelities. The other night he made the comment that he wasn't sure if his "love for me" was more of a friendship kind of love or if it was "real love"...when many times before he's been the one to bring up leaving his wife, but always decided against it because there are 2 children involved. In fact HE was the one that said those 3 little words first; "I love you". I'm torn on what I need to do. Obviously I know that our whole relationship is "wrong" so to speak. I love him enough to let him go if I have to but I also love him enough & know that this feels right. So I want to fight for what I believe him. I believe in him, in us & of course in our relationship. It's obvious that the time has come for a decision to me made, I asked him what he wanted from me, & he said for me to be happy & he'd do whatever it took to see what I was. Does he not see that HE is the one who makes me happy?? th

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Submitted 322 days ago...

LissaC

Professor (1,748)

Honey, you deserve WAY WAY better than that! There is no reason that you shoud have to sit around waiting for him to leave a MARRIAGE!! There is no woman on earth that should put herself through that B.S.
When a man cheats on his wife he gets a 'high' and chances are he just keeps you around to fulfill the need for that 'high' because he gets away with it. Don't lower yourself to that level.
It's a new year, tell him to hit the road and forget that he exists! I know you say that you love him, but he loves his wife and kids and I'm pretty sure that you don't want to take him from his family. If he tells you that he is going to leave them for you, think real hard about what that means and always keep in mind that 'IF HE DOES IT FOR YOU, HE WILL DO IT TO YOU!!!' What do you think makes you so much more special than the woman that he married, that he wont do the same to you? Obviously he is a selfish man and cares nothing about how his wife feels. Do you want someone like that or do you want to have your VERY OWN MAN!!! I know what I would chose! Trust me, I was the side-line girl before to a man who was married, it wont work, unless of course you intend to do that forever.
You are stronger than you think you are and you should fight for your strength, bring it out and move on and find TRUE happiness. You deserve it.
Good luck to you!

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