Does my common-law husband ever want to stay in a commited relationship with me?

I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now, we have a little boy together who is 8 months old. I want to get married to him even though my family doesn't approve. He has been the only person I can count on cause I can't count on my family. Too many problelms with them. I want to spend the rest of life with him and I love him with all my heart. We've had our ups and downs, but it looks like our relationship is leading nowhere. It seems like he never wants to change, not even since we have our little boy. I work at a resturant as a waitress, he doesn't work. Im trying to help him find a job so he could help me. We both go to college, for medical assisting, but I don't get much help from him cause he doesn't workandmyfamily won't help me much. He says he loves me and wants things to wor

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Submitted 404 days ago...

Jodi-Mesa

Brain (2,795)

Congrats on the little one! I have a 7-month-old - they are fun aren't they.

From what little I know about the situation, it sounds to me like you need to evaluate your expectations of this relationship and why you want him to marry you. It sounds like to me that you do love him, but you feel that you are carrying the burden of the relationship and your new family all alone. I think that you, like many women have expected a miraculous change and perhaps made the mistake in thinking that the baby will help your relationship and bring you closer together, when in fact, having a baby puts strain on even the BEST relationships.

I feel you did not see the desired change and you are hoping that if you officially get married, then you may see the change you had hoped for when the baby was born. Tell me if I am way off base, but his happens a lot and you are not alone!

As a mommy you need to be strong and evaluate if this is the best situation for you and your baby. Be upfront and direct with him and let him know what you expect and how you feel. Tell him to be honest with you, he may surprise you. Be sure and practice good communication skills and mirror calm and collected even if the talk gets heated. If you are both committed to making it better, couples counseling or a support group for new parents might be helpful. Good luck!

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