Whats the best chance to get her back?

My wife and i have been together for 6yrs and married for 4yrs. I love her with out a doubt. She is no longer sure how she feels and needs time and space to figure it out. She says she loves me but doesn't know if she loves me how she should. So needless to say we are separating. I'm going to indivdual counseling and once she gets her new apartment squared away she will do the same. Things between us are friendly and we both have agreed to try to work things out. things have been rough for several months and we lost are ability to communicate effectively. During that time she figure a few things out and neglected to tell me. I didn't know what was going on so i began questioning everything she did. This drove us apart even more. I'm dealing with this the best i can but i don't know what to do. Should I believe that there is hope or just try to let it go?

Share | Abuse

Submitted 137 days ago...

Susu

Professor (1,358)

You didn't say what it was she figured out, but I assume it was personal. I am very worried for you though. A similar thing happened to some friends of mine. They had been married around 6 years, and things seemed fine. She even brought him up on stage to sing to him and profess her undying love at a show she and I were doing in November that year. Then right after Christmas she blindsided him with a bombshell that she wasn't sure if she was still in love with him or not. She got her own apartment but she agreed to couples counseling. She then brought up problems with intimacy that she never told him bothered her. She made up several accusations about him to the counselor. Yet she continued to sleep with him when it was convenient for her, thus sending him mixed signals. She finally told him she wanted a divorce. Turns out she ws sleeping with a married guy at work and decided she was in love with him and thought they were going to get married. He did leave his wife but put off divorcing her stating that he was trying to protect his child, and finances. Once my friends' divorce was final he dropped her. He then divorced his wife and married a girl he had been living with almost the entire time. My friends' ex-wife remarried, divorced and re-married again (nearly three years ago).
You shouldn't have to ask questions to find out what's wrong. I am worried that she is hiding something, but I could be wrong.
As for individual counseling... why? Did she say something was wrong with you? Also, why does she have to wait to be settled to get counseling? Either it's important to her or it's not. If you do not do joint counseling there are 2 things you need to realize.
1) You have no way to know if she is even going.
2) You don't have a clue as to what she is saying about you, and cannot therefore defend yourself, nor even understand what is truly going on.
I hope this isn't the case for you, but I urge you to guard your heart. God bless, Susu

Share | Link | Abuse