Whats the best chance to get her back?

My wife and i have been together for 6yrs and married for 4yrs. I love her with out a doubt. She is no longer sure how she feels and needs time and space to figure it out. She says she loves me but doesn't know if she loves me how she should. So needless to say we are separating. I'm going to indivdual counseling and once she gets her new apartment squared away she will do the same. Things between us are friendly and we both have agreed to try to work things out. things have been rough for several months and we lost are ability to communicate effectively. During that time she figure a few things out and neglected to tell me. I didn't know what was going on so i began questioning everything she did. This drove us apart even more. I'm dealing with this the best i can but i don't know what to do. Should I believe that there is hope or just try to let it go?

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Submitted 137 days ago...

drake

Beginner (10)

She's never given me a reason not to trust her so I have no choice but to do so. This is also part of our issues. Over the last i'd say 9mo things have been tough between us. About 6mo ago she sat me down and pointed out the fact that I had been neglection her. I began changing things but by that time she had thrown up her defenses. She handled it by telling herself that the affection and attention didn't matter and that she didn't want it. So in my eyes she became kind of distant. At the same time she realized that we both needed to make more time for ourselves individually. She was right. I didnt understand that at the time though. We had become overly dependent upon each other. I became very suspisious of everything she did and became very insecure. Our communication broke down and she threw up her defences, i threw up mine until it snowballed to now. On a positive note things seem to have gradually gotten better over the last week. She really seems to want to see and talk to me. She hugs me and each time it lasts a little longer. I've come to believe that she still does love me. She may not know it but i believe she does. My friends think that I need to almost distance myself a bit more. When we talk only talk about what we need to. Basically let her come to me. An analogy someone told me was that right now she is in the drivers seat and i'm in the trunk and i need to at least get to the passenger seat. Right now she knows i will be there and doesn't have to worry about that aspect of it. If she starts to question this then it will help to bring her around. I know that this is probably this best road but I still want as much as she is willing to give me.

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