How do I get this abusive person out of my life for good?

I was dating this guy for a few months and I got pregnant. After we moved in together he started being abusive and controlling. He tried taking my keys away from me so I couldn't leave, while struggling, he bent my thumb back and I thought it was broke. It turned out to be a sprain when I went to the hospital the next day. He would take my money from me and block me from leaving our home and even sat on me while I was pregnant. I am not sure what to do now. I moved away, out of state. I put a restraining order on him, now I am going to court because he is contesting it and wanting to have visitation rights with the baby. I want to have nothing to do with this person for the reast of my life. I am afraid of this guy. I refuse to put his name on the birth certificate. I will have to change my name and social security number, since he has both. What can I do to make this person not be involved in my life?

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Awarded Answer (What’s This?)

Submitted 104 days ago...

bllinvi

Beginner (73)

I applaud you for the work that you have done so far. What I can tell you is DO NOT put his name on the birth certificate. That way if he wanted to take you to court for visitation, it would be his burden of proof to verify that he is the father. The financial obligation would be his.

Also, make sure that you document all of the abuse. Write down everything that you can remember and sign it in front of a notary. Keep it in a safe place such as a safe, so if/when he does take you to court, you will be ready. Make sure that you keep renewing the restraining orders when they are set to expire. Call the police every time that he tries to contact you.

When you do go to court, you have to tell them about all of the abuses. Explain everything no matter how hard it is. If you truly want him out of your life, you need to convince them with the facts of his previous actions. Tell the court that you don't feel safe around him because of what he has done in the past, and say that you wouldn't feel comfortable leaving a child with him because he has abused you. Chances are the court will side with you.

But be strong girl! You will make it through this!

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