A teen was adptd by grdmthr.She gave us temp custdy. Says we can keep her but not adopt. How to get perm custody wthout adop

The 16 year old girl has never had a stable home. Her home was abusive, violent, drug and alcohol abuse was everyday. Her parents were put in jail/rehab when she was very young. She was in foster care from age 5 to 12. Her mother was released and she was returned to her. Her mother died within a couple years. Her grandmother adopted she and her sisters to prevent them from going to foster care again. The eldest is 19, but has been gone from home since 13, another family took her in, the next sister, just turned 18 is in a juvenile detention center. Our girl is the youngest. She lived with her grandmother for a short time but had NO supervision, drugs and alcohol whenever and however. She lived with an uncle and his children, all boys, it didn't work out and she tried living with her 19 year old sister, but again it didn't work out. She is very resistant to authority, but responds to love, attention and reseasonable, enforcable rules without problem. The grandmother has no home, was living with another daughter until the daughter was busted for drugs and her family removed from her. The grandmother is now living with her older granddaughter, she, the grandmother had fallen and broken her leg, she is in a wheelchail. It is unknown how long she will live there and where she will go next. Our girl wants to stay with us. I am a retired RN, my husband is a Vietnam era disabled vet, 70% and unemployable due to a nervous condition, which together makes him 100%. We have a 15 year old daughter who goes to school with the other child, our daughter brought her home. My husband draws military disability and SS disibility. I do not work away from home. We have other grown children. The grandmother is glad we have the girl and appears to have no desire to take her from us, she just will not give her up for adoption. She draws a monthly check on her. She does not provide any support. She has given the girl a couple hundred dollars over the last several months for "spending money". I believe she could not give us support if we requested it. We want to care for our girl, but we need more than just a notarized temporary custody paper to care for her properly. We are willing if we can find out how, to put her on my husbands military as our dependant. What if anything can we get to make her our without an actual adoption? Please help. This childs life hangs in the balance.

We live in Oklahoma.

The grandmother cannot just allow anyone to have custody of her grandaughter. If you have tempory custody or guardianship what ever the case may be and she wants to continue to let you have the guardianship then that is up to her and the courts. However she should not be recieving any checks from the state if the child is not in her home. she would have to notifly the state and let them know she know longer resides in her house. She canot have it both ways. I am actually surprized that the court gave you custody if your not a blood relative. I guess it would be up to you to decide if you want to continue with the guardianship on her terms.