I really hate to tell you this but to prove a mother unfit is very hard to do,even in rare caseswhen there has been proof the court just ordered the mother to get help, she did not loase the child, but had to report back to the court when she was done with the counciling. Every state has the sames laws on filing a modivacation for custody having to prove the child(ren) would be in danger by living with the parent.Your husband can file for contempt of court, for not complying with the court order to add him on the birth certificate. Has the father ever tried talking with the mother and see if she would be willing to give him custody or at least joint custody. From the sounds of it there my come a time when the mother may ask the father to take the child, by the way she is living. Your husband should consult a lawyer about his rights. There are many lawters that offer free consutation so he might want to call a few.
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Submitted 125 days ago...
Do we have a chance?
My husband has a 3 yr-old with a pervious women, who is a more than a few years older than him, she refused to name him the father of her son, so he took her to court for a perternity test and came to find that the child was his nine months after he was born. Court orders were that he would have to pay child support and that we get him every weekend. and she would have to add him to the birth cert. as the father. Which she still has not done. She has been in numerous realtionships with men who are abusive and now has been living with her parents for the past 1yr at least, and does not work. She has lied to day care that she is working to cheat the system on not having to pay for child care. We pay about 420 a month in child support becasue of back support and we still have to buy him cloths and pay for things that she should be taking care of with the money she gets with child support. She has admitted to both of us that she used to sell her self for money (after the child was born) and the parents she lives with are drunks and are very abusive to each other. We want to try to get full custody of the 3 yr old to better is his life, and want the mother to only be able to see with with supervised visition... We also recently just had a child together. We can provide him with better child care and enviroment.. Do we have a chance against her in court?
It is difficult to prove any parent being unfit, but not impossible. We were awarded full sole and physical and legal custody from the mother and she is now only allowed supervised visits. This was three years ago. She was in a relationships with abusive man, she is an addict, and the son had been subjected to fights etc... The best thing to do is write as much detail down as possible with dates and times of each event. Write down what she tells you. If she writes the information in e-mails or text messages or leaves voice mail -- keep everything. Find out if there are any friends or family members that would be willing to testify on your behalf. Do hire a lawyer and he can also do some digging with his investigators as well. We started filling emergency hearing papers, and filed one every month. We had the police and social services do regular well checks. They would often ask her to take a drug test, which she refused to do. We were paying $400 a month in child support which she used for drugs. Consider the child's behavior -- that is the most important thing -- how it is effecting the child. Don't be discouraged -- it may take time, but it can be done.
If you guys cant get full custody you should try to get 50/50 physical and joint custody! You'll most like see a mediator and he or she will give the judge a reccomendation! Hopefully this helps you goid luck!
Its a tough situation to be in. hopefully the money isn't the main issue. folks are right while it's hard to prove a mother un fit , it is still worth while to nail her on her non compliance of the court order. Stay in his life as much as possible for his bennifit. keep documentations of phone calls. but try to get as much in writing as you can. If the child is truley in danger though that's what CPS is for. it is going to be a long hard path no matter what because you are now tied to the bio mom for 18 years. but keep revisiting the court order , to my knowledege there is no limit on petitioning for modification .
Your best bet is to find a very good attorney and go for custody. The least you should get is 50/50 custody. It is not impossible to find a parent unfit. You may also be able to get her for contempt of court if she has not responded to earlier court orders. Talk to friends and family and find a good attorney.
Do you have a chance? Your chances improve with a well funded attorney, and it will be expensive to prove the mother is unfit as you claim for there will be investigators hired by the attorney to get the dirt, making a court appearance adds thousands to the cost, if the attorney feels expert witnesses are need, that will cost dearly. The modification due to her contempt of court for not putting you on the BC, only provides you with more veracity about the kind of person she is, but has little to do with custody. The court really only cares what is best for the child and relies heavily on any CPS report and other evidence presented. The process is long and drawn out and becomes a battle of patience and money. It is not something done easily or without an attorney. getting a modified court order can be done without an attorney regarding all issues and it may open the door enough so that the court orders CPS to become involved and go see what kind of living conditions the child is in and make a formal report for the court to consider. You can also simply call CPS and tell them you believe a child is endangered by living conditions and ask for an investigation for abuse etc. That will get CPS involved and write reports that may help your case.
After reading the above answers...I agree. You can at least get 50/50 custody and what will happen next is you and your husband keep a log. Document everything because more than likely you will return to court in 90 days to see if both parties followed through with their end. If she didn't and you have it documented, you are on your way to proving she is unfit. Keep your chin up and remember what is best for the child and you will do fine.
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