Do grandparents have child custody rights?

My wife and I have been providing for our two grandsons (3 1/2 and 2 1/2) for nearly two years now (they and their mother live with us). Our concern is their mother (our daughter) has been diagnosed as bi-polar,abuses cocaine and alcohol, and uses all of the support money she receives from her soon to be ex to support her addictions, not her children. Her husband is in the army, has only seen the children twice in the last two years, rarely has contact with them via the internet or phone and never sends anything beyond the $700.00 per month in agreed "child support". We are at our wits end. Our primary concern of course is the well being of the children and we are so afraid that if child protective services become involved we stand to lose them to a foster family. My wife and I own our own business which occupies a great deal of our time but we very frequently find ourselves taking the kids to work with us and caring for them all day long. We need help but we have always feared the consequences of turning her in because she uses the children in an attempt at emotional blackmail. She knows we are the primary providers for her children, she seems to resent that and she is holding us hostage in our own home. We don't want to lose the children! My daughter does not manage her disease (bipolar or addictions), and we see her life further spiraling out of control on an almost daily basis. Last weekend she went on a three day drug binge and left us all wondering.

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Answer 1 / 3

Submitted 166 days ago...

catekitten

New User (2)

On her next binge, change the locks to the house and make a police report. Give details as to how long the children have been living with you and you are their primary care giver.

You could call Child Protective Services and ask what your options are, and that you don't want to lose the children, but protect them. Don't give your name right away.

Or confront your daughter and tell her you will turn her in if she tries to leave with the kids and that you want her to sign guardianship over to you. Don't let her take you prisoner. You end up being her enabler. Stop and take control right now.

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Answer 2 / 3

Submitted 162 days ago...

tomturkey

Brain (2,691)

Well it sounds like your very caring and I can see your concern. Sometimes we have to do what we don't want to in order to help our grandchildren. If getting the cps involved is what it takes to protect the babies you have to or nothing will change. She has an addiction and she is not goiing to change its not that easy for her. There is one thing that you may be able to do. When she leaves and you kmow she is not coming back for several days you can file a motion with the court and ask for tempory custody of your grandchildren stating she is on drugs and left home. Then you would either have to try to get her help when she comes back or not let her back in. I have been though this myself but my daughetr signed over her rights to me. You might ask her if she would give you legal guardianship. You can also talk to the father and see if he would be willing to consent to your getting guardianship. You might want to consult an attorney but unless she gives you consent orCPS are involved you will just have to continue to take care of them as you have been. I wish you luck.

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Answer 3 / 3

Submitted 152 days ago...

mainframers

New User (2)

I received two great answers to our dilemna. I hired an attorney and filed for temporary custody of the grandchildren. I had the paper worked filled out by our attorney on Monday, June 23rd and was granted temporary custody the next day. This was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, but I need to keep reminding myself that I did this because their safety was being compromised by her behavior. My former wife and daughter have told me I am the most heinous person on earth for doing this to my daughter and I will rot in hell for my decision to legally pursue things. I remind them that she did this to herself and those happy boys keep me sane!

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