May my spouse make me take a drug test in our custody battle or must thy get a court order first?

Your wife or soon to be ex is probably trying to paint you as an unfit parent so that they get greater custody of your children. During the mediation/arbitration process, if she insists on it, you should insist on her getting one as well. If there's nothing to hide, it won't matter and you have every right to ask for the exact same considerations and concessions from the court.

Good Info Sheri

That is some good advice Sheri. Thanks.

It does seem like the real losers in this whole mess is the kids.

Yes. As long as we realize before the kids do the problem gets solved before it really gets bad. Good luck just keep your head up

Yes, the ex-spouse can allege you do drugs and the judge will decide if testing is needed. I am the mother in my situation and used to smoke pot with the father of my child. The judge ordered us to take 4 hair follicle tests - one ten days after the ruling, and the others 30 days apart. Those tests are not fun - but they are good evidence in court if they're negative, so don't worry. By the way to anyone who cares...the marijuana never showed up positive on any of the tests! We had even admitted to smoking the week prior, in court - and even the 1st test (about 15 days after smoking) showed up negative at a professional laboratory!