Wow 4 DUI's you should be concerned and know it is not strange to hear that your ex is different when he drinks, but he does have a promblem and your concerns are real and you can file a motion asking the court to modifly your orignal visitation order and try to get the judge to change his visits to supervised visits until he gets help,the court may order him to get help. It sounds like you don't want to do this,and I understand that,but you have to be responiable to see that the children are safe. You could also consider talking to his parents and they may be willing to bring the children home instead of him o his visits and see how that works out. The children are to young to call you if they need to so it would have to be someone that is responiable enough to call you to pick them up or bring them home. Your ex can make promises amd I am sure he means well but once he starts drinking nothing else matters,alcohol is a diease and until he wants help he won't get help.
Submitted 231 days ago...
My childrens Father is an alcoholic
I left my husband 2 years ago because he was an alcoholic. The part that got hard to deal with is he would drink until he wasn't the same person. I don't know if that makes since to anyone. He is a nice guy sober but when he gets drunk he gets mean. Well after i left he got his 4th DUI and went to jail, hospital and probation. He told me he would stay sober. I let the kids (3 and 7) go visit him half the summer at his mom's (where he know lives). I did a suprise visit and of corse he was Drunk. So what do I do know? I feel bad taking his children away, i don't even think i can. But there needs to be a wasy to keep them safe. I want them to know their dad and make their own decisions but they are to young to say NO to him. He doesn't think when he drinks. What do I do so I'm fair to him and keep the children out of harms way?
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Answer 1 / 3 - Submitted 229 days ago...
That is a really typical alcoholic they get better they fall again. I agree with you about the children there number 1 in this situation. If you want them to know there father than have supervised visits with you there with him when he is visiting the children .If and when he starts taking his alcoholism seriously than mabye you can change that but until then thats the only way you will have peace of mind that your children are safe. Nice people change when they drink there really is know telling what could happen. We all watch the news . Be aware and take action. Thankyou and God Bless
Think about being fair to your children, not their father. If he wants a relationship with his kids he needs to earn it. Do you really think your kids want to know the drunken version of him? You yourself said he's not the same person when he's drinking, so it's not even like they're actually spending time with him during these visits. It's also sending your kids the wrong message, that there aren't actual consequences to actions such as their fathers'.
This Question was awarded 110 days ago therefore you can no longer post an Answer. However you may post a comment below.
Thank you. I know what I have to do I just feel bad for doing it. It's amazing how the alcoholic does not feel bad for putting his children in that situation and I get to feel bad for protecting them from that situation. Sometimes it's nice to hear what you already know from someone else.
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