Removing a child from the home

If he won't comply threaten kicking him out..you can do it, it may be difficult, but hey what else is tough love?

It sounds like he needs help, not to get kicked out of the house. You can't kick him out until he's 18 anyway. You might think about calling the police the next time he brings pot home, juvenile court might be good for him. Does he have a car? you could take that away until he straightens up.

I agree with primetime. Parenting doesn't end because he's 18. He needs you more than ever. You have experience to share with him and love to give him. I agree that if he does something illegal, you should call the police, number one because he needs to know there are consequences to his actions and because you want to protect yourself from getting in trouble.

Honestly family counseling would be the best thing for you to help give your kid a chance at a successful life. If you kick him out don't you think he'll get in more trouble. You won't be able to just wash your hands of it because he's not there. I can't imagine how frustrated you must be, but remember if his own mom won't put in the effort who will. You are his last chance because when he's 18 and in the real world, he can really get himself in trouble.

I have a 17 year old who had ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) ODD is usually diagnosed when a child has a persistent or consistent pattern of disobedience and hostility toward parents, teachers, or other adults. The primary behavioral difficulty is the consistent pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by adults. Sometimes, ODD may be a precursor of a conduct disorder.

We utilezed a variety of things to help us with this, including family and individual counseling, Parenting support groups, specially tailored Parenting classes to help learn ways of providing consistency, structure, and a positive, less stressful home environment.

A helpful orginazation for us was Focus Adolescent Services, they help with resources for all types of teen behavior issues. Remembering that there brain fully developed, and that they cannot always control themeselves like we adults can.

Please note that I am not saying your child has ODD, just that I have experience with it, and these are the things that worked for our family, and our daughter is doing very very well now.

http://www.focusas.com/index.html

http://www.focusas.com/BehavioralDisorders.html

"there brain is NOT fully developed" sorry

I can relate. I live in Illinois. Had a disrespectful son. Selling drugs, running away, joined a gang, stealing my money, not going to school, wouldn't listen, slept all day, up all night. 18 came and I put him out. Did it hurt? Yes. Did he hate me? Yes. I had to do it. He did not speak to me until he was arrested for selling drugs. I got a second job. Paid for his attorney. Went to Court for 10 months. He was sentenced to 6 years at 18 years of age. I visited him. Made him write me instead of calling collect. He grew up in prison. We are now very close. No disrespect from him. He has his own place. A payroll job. A car. A lady friend. A new Attitude.

You cannot kick him out before he is 18,it use to be 21 for a male and 18 for a girl,I have know ideal if that law is still effect. However you have options. If your other son is of age and coming home to live it won't make a difference in your responsibility for the 18 year old. Does your older son have another family member he can live with. Have you checked out your options with the state. You need to make them aware of whats going on. If he is damaging your home and doing drugs that is not good. if he refuses to not bring drugs home and you know he has them call the police,maybe sitting in jail might knock some since into him. Sometimes we have to use tough love, but you have to want the help. good luck