I hate my job

You probably need training, which takes a little bit of time, not long, but at least a few weeks. You should look up any local bartending schools in the area and read reviews on them to see which one is the best.

Then, you would be qualified and one of the top picks for a bar to hire you.

Sorry, I realize that this means a little longer at your current job. I know exactly what you are going through, as I worked retail for five years and just couldn't stand it because of the factors you wrote down. Get a job that you love to do, and you might be surprised how much easier it is to wake up and get ready for work!

I have been a bartender in Chicago for 15 years at a few different places and I am a male. Unfortunatley, through much experience, I have seen that the best way to get a bartending job is to know someone who owns a bar.
The second best way is to be an attractive female. The better looking, the less experience needed. Sad, but very true.
The third best way to get a job bartending is to start at the bottom and work your way up- barback, stockboy, waiter/waitress, security, coat check, etc. and get in good with management and hope for an opening behind the bar. (This is the path where I got started.)
Going to bartending school is also an option. Sometimes they place students after the program, but they can be expensive and most of the best positions want someone with experience so the placements from bar-schools are not always the most sought after.
Another way is to become familiar with a specific place you would like to work, becomiing a regular, putiing in time on the bar stool and getting to know the staff and being an above average tipper and always having a smile and never over-drinking and getting a negative attitude from anyone. Eventually make mention that you are available if the venue needs any help with anything.
Many bars/restaurants make their drinks differently from other bars, so knowing how to make a drink is often the least important factor in getting hired. Being confident, friendly, authoritative when needed, trustworthy, and witty are all traits that will help getting hired.
Just like any other job, experience creates more opportunity.