Child development

Around 3 years old a child can start to understand what you say. All children have different emotional maturity levels and you can gauge it from there. By the time they enter school they are able to compare and comprehend what other people tell them and by this time you really should be honest.

Is there a reason that the father cannot see him? Can he have contact with him via phone or anything? By saying the father is too busy, he may feel like he is not important. Sometimes the truth is better than the lie.

Good luck - being a parent is the best hardest thing you will ever do.

My son is now 8 yrs old and has not seen his father since he was 3. His father chooses not to see him. Visitation has been inconsistent since the day he was born. He visited with my son only 3 times out of the18 scheduled visits. He wouldnt call at all and then went MIA until recently. He said he really wanted to see his son, that he had changed his ways. That was April 07. I did all the paperwork to modify the parenting agreement and mailed it to him to sign and return to me and I have yet to receive it. This is insight on how he has changed! He says he will drive 2 hrs to see him but cant drive to the mailbox to mail paperwork. It shouldnt take him 4 mos to mail paperwork that will allow him to see his son.
I did not let my son know this was in the works because I knew his Dad wouldnt follow through. My son wants to see his Dad and when I try to talk to him about not seeing him he says it makes him sad. I tell him we just have to wait for him to call. I've never told him that his Dad just doesnt make the effort. Who goes 4 years without seeing their child. I've always left that door open for his father but all I asked is that he be consistant whether it was 1 visit a year or 18 visits.

Well it sounds like you have already told your son the truth if in fact the father lives far away and is too busy to see him I am curious as to why you say his father wants to see him but is unable to act on it. Is he in jail or an illness preventing him from seeing him? How old his your child? If it has been years he must be an older child. The truth is always the best if you have a good relationship with your child and you feel he is old enough to understand talk to him. With out more details about the situration it is hard to give you advise.