Boyfriend Has Gone Off The Deepend

Sadly he is not the guy you used to know.He does not handle the relationship very well,by calling on you here and there ,every time you get in an argument.Talk to him.Tell him it is not right,doing such things.Tell him you wanna trust him and him to trust you.That is the only way to be together.Tell him,you want to know everything he feels and thinks,but it has to stay between the two of you.It is o. k. to argue sometimes,but when you overcome the battle by yourselves ,it is a victory.He means to hurt you by calling on you.He thinks he will have it his way by doing this.Just make him realize that he matters and you wanna be there in good or bad.Only the bad does not have to be made into worse.

Ms Holly,

You sound as if you're a young girl with your whole life ahead of you. NA and AA? Perhaps if you were doing drugs and you need it, go for it. For him? No, let him handle his problem. You are not your boyfriend's keeper and it is not your job to make him well, together, happy, sober..you get the picture.

Turn away from this situation before you become a statistic or become pregnant and he abuses you and your child. Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you are through. Then tell your friends, your parents, everyone, that you have severed all ties with him. Don't take his calls and don't speak with him again. Above all, don't feel sorry for him; he's made his choice and you will always come AFTER the drugs and.or alcohol. If he persists in contacting you get a restraining order against him. Don't look back!

Love does not have to hurt, love is not all this drama and if it's excitement that you're looking for then go to Disney. But, be rid of this loser before he drags you down with him and misery loves company. That's a fact. Good luck and develop a great opinion of yourself. You deserve better.

Your gut instinct is right on target. You should not have anything to do with this guy ever again. There is a huge difference between having a substance abuse problem and attempting to dynamite your relationship with family and sabotage your job. He needs to clean up his life, but for you to be there after what he tried to do to you borders on dependence, because he will know that if he can get away with this once, he'll attempt more destructive things in the future. If his feelings toward you are anywhere close to what you feel for him, then he needs to clean up by himself while you take a step back and observe from a safe distance. And even then, I would be on my guard if I was you.

WOW ! All I can say is I know how you feel. What he did to you by calling your mom and work is totally unexceptible. I know you may love him deeply but for him to do that to you means he doesn't feel the same. Find someone who will be good to you and doesn't have all the baggage. Now if you do and I am not saying you do, please get help. Worry about you. Once you get your life in order everything else will fall into place. I wish you the best of luck.

If you love him be with honey but if you want alot of heart ache and pain it's not worth it because i was in a abuse of relationship with my son father.And he tried to take my baby and he also ran over my father.

I believe that you should try to get him help, whether it be NA, AA, or any other professional form. That is the best thing for him, and for you to know that he is actually on the right track. However, there must have been a reason why he called your Mom and your work and lied. He has his side of the story, may it be right or wrong. Because of this, it would be best to split up while he is getting help. Not only would it give him some incentive to get better for the both of you, but it will also create just enough distance so you too won't always be upset at each other.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be his friend, or stop loving him. Nor am I saying you shouldn't ever see him again. That would be terrible for you and him. If you truly care about him, give him the help, but also realize you need to keep yourself healthy, both physically and mentally. If he doesn't want the help, then that is the time to look elsewhere. Even if it hurts at first, you need to keep yourself as happy as possible, priority number one.

If he isnt going to kick in...Kick him! I say go for it give him another chance to prove himself you need to encourage him to do better if u know he is your soul mate

WTF..he called your job..That is Total disrespect. In my eyes he is trying to destroy you socially and financially. In my book I would have dumped him after that.

To be quite honest, I know exactly where you are coming from. I know that it is hard to be so deeply in love with someone and you will try everything and anything to make it work. I really feel for what you are going through and I know that right about now you are reaching for any bit of hope to save this relationship. It would be unfair of me to say that you should leave and probably even more unfair to say you should stay. All that I can offer is a couple of ideas for you to try. I would try to sit him down and talk with him...If you feel that you may forget to say certain things, write him a letter...but have him read it in front of you so that you can see his reaction and you can talk about it. Maybe make a nice dinner and have him read it or go out to a resturant. That way if for some reason he doesnt like what you wrote or if he gets defensive about it, you will be in a public place where you can calmly discuss your issues. Let him know that he isnt the person that you fell in love with and you desperatly want to find that person again. Dont put all the blame on him, but tell him that both of you have changed and grown, and that you understand thats part of life but you are afraid of growing apart and you feel that maybe going to counciling could put the two of you back on the same road. Tell him that you will do anything to try to save the relationship and you hope that he feels the same about you. Its really hard to be in a relationship when drugs and/or alcohol are factors....it usually doent end up good. No matter what, the final decision is yours and it boils down to the simple fact...how do you want to live your life?

Get rid of him that is what I would do. May hurt but the hurt will disappear. Attend to your life, you have one life, you are responsible for that life. If he wants to make a mess out of his life, don't get involve, he needs help. Do you want to live like this until you die, ask yourself this, then act on it. Best.