My daughter's father keeps threatening me with taking my daughter.

As all custody battles are, this sounds painful.

the part i'm going to adress is the last part--the talking ont he phone, because to me it seems liek the rest of the question was there to hide this part, and it's the real one..

SO, i would say, that if he asks to talk to ehr on the phone, and she's there--dont ask her if she wants to--just hand her the phone and say "your dad wants to talk to you" ... dont give her a funny look, dont hold ur hand over the phone and say something else--just say that. NOW, it's compelatly up to her, and if she takes the phone, fine.. if she doesnt--, then she'll prolly say so, and he'll hear it.


if they talk, the world isnt going to end, and if he's REALLY that bad, she'll figure it out for herself. Which is all she needs to be doing right now. Kids arnt stupid, even @ 4 they got more brains than a lot of adults i know.

if she doesnt want to talk, then make sure he hears HER say it, or say why--dont coach her on what to say. That way YOU can tell him, she doesnt want to talk, and there's nothing he can do about it. If you have to, do this every time. Eventually he'll get the clue, or she will.

do your best to leave the door open for HEr to decide what to do... this door may have to be open for 13 more years.

Of course that is how I handle that with her...she is what is most important and I would NEVER keep her from him. But now she has made it clear she isn't interested in talking to him, he is threatening me with taking her every 6 months or every time he says he wants to drive down and take her for a month and I tell him no, he may come here and meet her and get to know her but until they have an established relationship he will not take her anywhere...at that point he threatens me again to take her. I'm just wondering how long she and I have to put up with this before we don't have to anymore. I don't want to deal with him and I won't force her to. If he wants to come see her and start building a relationship with her I'm all for it, but this is seems just lazy and harrassing at this point.

His threats are just that, Threats. He obviously cannot raise a child and is just saying this to upset you every time he threatens just hang up and when he calls back say you will only talk as long as he does not abuse you because that is exactly what he is doing.

You need to go to court and file a motion for full custody. Most likely he will never show up at the hearing and they will give you full and sole custody. And even if he does show up you will have to prove that he never really has been a part of her life, and that shouldnt be hard to do. Speaking as a single mom of 3, I would never let my childrens father take them for a month, and its just ridiculous that he even asks. As far as his calling and wanting to talk with her, I think at this point if all he wants to to is threaten you, I wouldn't even answer the phone when he calls. I would not even give him the time of day with her unless it is court ordered. No one should have to sit there and take that, and Im talking from experience.

What you need to do is go and get a custody order now before he gets here and if you dont have one when he does do not let her go with him at all not with his family nothing when you go for custody ask for supervised visits for now just for her to establigh some kind of relationship then maybe one day on the weekend alone for a few hours but be fair and let the judge see you are trying too the judges like that be mature thats what they look for