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Question

Submitted 31 days ago...

mandychic

mandychic

New User (3)

Should I stay or should I go

I have been married since April. Lately I feel that I'm no longer in love with my husband but I do love him.He works out of state a lot and when he is home most his free time is spent with his family.I have told him how that makes me feel but all I'm told is I'm over reacting.I had to offer sex to him before he would even buy me a ring and the only reason we set a wedding date is because we were fighting and he wanted to make me happy.He left for work Sunday afternoon around two and I never heard from him till the next night around eight thirty.All he said was that he was getting ready to go to bed.We have been together for three years before we got married.Part of me thinks we only got married because everyone thought we would.I do love my husband very much but I'm not in love with him and I haven't been in love with him for a while now.What should I do?

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Answers
Answer 1 / 7 - Submitted 31 days ago...

jjoyce

jjoyce

Contributor (114)

You should stay and try to work it out. The first thing is to talk to him and tell him how you feel.
Have you done that yet? It's always best to be honest at all time. Tell him what you want and need.
Kill him with kindness and be as sweet as you can to him. You might just see a new side of him.
Theses are a few things I would try before I made up my mine to leave. You did take him for better or worst. I wish you the best and I hope you find out you are in love with him.

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Answer 2 / 7 - Submitted 27 days ago...

Laotian842

Laotian842

Expert (729)

You told him how you feel and he dismisses it as overreacting. Most of his free time is spent with his family. He leaves for work and comes home thirty hours later, telling you nothing other than that he's going to bed. You haven't been in love with him for a while and you've only been married for six months. Okay . . . if this letter was written by someone other than you and you were reading it right now, what would your answer to this writer be? Stick around? I don't think so. Give him an ultimatum? Probably not. Leave? Maybe. You've been married less than a year and he's not treating you like a wife, hell, he's not even treating you like a girlfriend. Find someone to stay with for a while, he might not even notice for a day or two. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to shake you out of this illusion that you have a marriage. This might not fit the criteria of abuse, but it is certainly neglect, and my point is that you haven't been married long enough to fall into that we-take-each-other-for-granted mode. You're obviously not happy. Get out of the house for a few days and see if it rattles him. If it doesn't, then you have your answer. Sorry if I come off a little too direct, but somebody had to say it.

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Answer 3 / 7 - Submitted 24 days ago...

Harvester339

Harvester339

Beginner (15)

I'm going to have to be brutaly honest..If you can sit here and say that you love him but are not in love with him then you need to move on. You have attempted to convey your feelings to him. We all have that natural gut feeling instilled in us when something is not right. If you feel it then chances are he does too. If he doesn't have the desency to sit with you as your husband, let alone your friend and discuss these preoblems and find out what's going on then it's time to move on with your life. We all deserve happiness! Love is something to be cherished...we all deserve the chance to genuinely be loved and to be able to share that feeling. You know all this in your heart, but facing it is always the hardest part...I know...but trust me when I say that when you do what's best for you and YOUR happiness, you will feel like a new woman! I wish you luck!

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Answer 4 / 7 - Submitted 23 days ago...

g8orgrrrl

g8orgrrrl

Authority (422)

It seems to me that you already know what you want to do, or at least think you know. But do you know what he wants to do? Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Ask him point blank: Do you love me? Are you still in love with me? Are you wholeheartedly committed to me and to our marriage? Do you want our marriage to last 'till death do us part"? Do you think we should split up? If not, what changes are you willing to make so we can fix what's broken? What changes would you expect me to make so we can fix what's broken? Perhaps, once you hear his answers to those questions, you will be pleasantly surprised and it will renew your interest in him and your marriage. Or you may find that he is viewing you and your marriage in the same way that you are viewing him and your marriage. Together you need to discover where you're heading and what you want to do about it. If your marriage is going to work (or not) both of you need to be heading in the same direction. Personally, I believe that marriage is a life-long commitment. But this is about your life and his, not mine. Wishing you and your husband the best.

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Answer 5 / 7 - Submitted 22 days ago...

Roses_4

Roses_4

Beginner (14)

Stay or Go? 1st You must talk with him. make conversation what you want and what he want. But you said you love him but not in love with him. And he did not treat you well as like wife or girlfriends.So what are you waiting? You are not in love with him. or you want try to in love with him? Only you can answer.
You want stay with someone you love but in love with him and treat you not well or Go leave and say good bay to you love. Don´t force if not make you feel good. It´s good if can you decide before you have kids. Because after have kids will more complicated.

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Answer 6 / 7 - Submitted 22 days ago...

crissyemt

crissyemt

New User (3)

I believe you've already been given some great advice. At leaste you still have some feelings besides hate and anger toward him. It doesn't sound like he's been a very good husband but it also sounds like he's new to this as are you. Maybe you ought to consider how much of a wife you have been? I don't know the whole situation. But the best advice you can get is to be honest talk, if he cares enough he'll want to fix the problem

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Answer 7 / 7 - Submitted 18 days ago...

Dottie007

Dottie007

Beginner (11)

Doesn't sound like you have a happy marraige. You didn't mention if there were children in this marraige. That would make it worth saving the marraige.
My first suggestion is to seek marraige consuling as soon as possible. If there is no spark left then don't waist anymore time. You did not marry a roomate.

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