How can I stop my divorce?

At this point, saying something is probably a little late.

have you tried marriage counseling? there is a disconnect somewhere in the marraige where he isn't happy with what he is getting or he found someone that he would rather be with then you.

have you been a good wife to him in his eyes?

I went through a horrible depression where I was unable to take care of anything but our 5 year old son. Couldn't hold a job either. He doesn't understand depression, how a person has little control over it and how it can affect you. He says depression is just an excuse to be lazy, and he can't be w/ someone who is lazy. I'm on medication now, and it's like someone has turned on the lights for me. I feel so much better, and am taking care of things like a normal person now. He says it's too late. I read on line about a few books that will help you turn a divorce situation around, but they are expensive.Has anyone read these books? PLEASE! I am desperate!

I suspect your husband has heard all of this from you before but nothing changed then and he doesn't expect anything to change now. It's like being with an alcoholic who says they will quit drinking but they never do. You're wanting him to change his mind about divorce because you're taking magic pills that fix everything? I don't think even you would buy that if you were him and he was you. You're using "depression" as an excuse but there have to be other factors that "caused" the depression. Taking pills may help you feel better but pills don't take away the causes of the depression.

Don't wast your time on books that claim to turn marriages around. If they worked, the divorce rate wouldn't continue going up the way it has for so many years. The same goes for marriage counseling. Marriage counseling is nothing more than a delay tactic for the inevitable divorce.

If your husband doesn't love you, there isn't much you can do about it. I don't buy your "depression" sob story if you're telling me you successfully cared for your child but nothing else because of depression. That's like you were functioning successfully, selectively. Something not right here.

You just want to keep this marriage going because you're broke and don't know how you would take care of yourself after a divorce. Don't look at me that way . . . you can't even afford a book. Your only hope now is to obtain a very good attorney who will soak your husband for a healthy amount of alimony and child support (if you can retain custody in your medicated condition).

In the meantime though, you'd better go to your local community college or get some training that will make you employable. You should try asking your husband for support at least for that for a period of say, six months. Community college courses are reasonably inexpensive and who knows; if your husband is willing to stay around for six months while you get some training; it might give hime the time you need to show him how you've changed (if you have).

In the meantime; try not to ACT so desperate. That will drive your husband away even faster.

For the record; love is forever. If your husband says he doesn't love you now; that means he never did. If he did ever love you, he would have stuck with you through this ordeal no matter what it took. That's what "love" is. Maybe it's time for you to find someone who can "love" you for real.

Tracii, ask him to go see a marriage counselor. For the sake of your 5 year old son, try and work things out. Get over being depressed, that really puts a drain on your husband. Maybe a part time job is part of the answer; it would allow you to financially contribute to the relationship.

This answer was edited by primetime001 182 days ago.

Reason: sp

I agree with PrimeTime. If you really want to make your husband stay, then you need to look at yourself and see what is it that makes him want to leave this marriage? Keep in mind, it may be something in your control and it may not be in your control which is something that you have to accept.

In life, you have to work on being the best you that you can be. If you aren't happy, you need to make a plan to change your situation. That is one good thing about free choice and living in a country where we can move anywhere we want, do anything we want to do. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Why does he want a divorce? I agree that a marriage counselor is the best first step to help you identify what it is that you both need to get on the same page again.