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Submitted 366 days ago...

Bottledup

Bottledup

New User (1)

How do I open up to my husband after 10 years?

I love my husband very much, we have 2 great kids. Our biggest issue has always been he needs attention and likes to spend a lot of time together, while I always feel like I have so much on my plate, and when I don't, I never feel like talking. I keep everything bottled up inside, and he always turns to someone else for support. I get jealous of his female friends because they relate to him so much better than I do. I always end up hurt that he didn't share things with me, but I know I don't open up to him. Over the past year, this has become a big strain. He has become very close with someone else and I don't want to lose him, but it is inevitable if something doesn't change. Do I just need psychiatric help or is it the relationship?

 
 
 
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Submitted 366 days ago...

sidelko

sidelko

Brain (3,031)

If it is hard to open up completely, just try and start opening up with some things. Pretend you are dating again, and do the things again that he found attractive in you when you met.

Focus on keeping him and making things better each and every day when you open up and talk to him.

If nothing else, find a way to make more time to spend with him. If he wants attention, find a way to give it to him in the ways that he wants attention and love.

There is still hope. And you are right, things do need to change.

Good luck.

 

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Answer 2 / 2

Submitted 366 days ago...

Ruchele

Ruchele

Brain (3,118)

Your problem really hits home for me. My husband and I have been married 20 years, so take heart, you can work this out. My husband is like yours and enjoys a lot of attention, cuddling etc.. where as I am a bit of a loner and standoffish. The trick comes with compromise, your husband recognizing when you really need your space, and you recognize when he really needs your attention. Counseling and exercises in communicating our needs effectively helped us immensly, if you both are willing, it can't hurt. One of the things I do to let him know I am there for him even when my plate is full elsewhere is little cards and notes. We also make time for a "date night", even if it is just cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, once a week.

Good luck.

 

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Ruchele

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Brain (3,118)

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