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Submitted 351 days ago...
How to deal with an INSANE ex-boyfriend who wont leave me alone
Ok , so heres the deal...I've been daiting his guy on and off for about 8 months. I just recently broke up with him and I've made my-self very clear that this would be the last time that we would be together. He keeps putting horrable guilt trips on me (and does a wonderful job of it) for example: over the summer he went to texas for basic training and yesterday he walked up to me and told me that Vanderwall (one of his friends form basic) had died the day before in a road-side bomb accident. (Thats one of many) WHAT SHOULD I DO??????
Answer 1 / 4
Submitted 350 days ago...
Answer 2 / 4
Submitted 350 days ago...
Well, this is a hard situation. I think it would be appropriate to tell him that you are really sorry and give your regards and treat this as you would if he were a friend. But it sounds like a pattern and guilt is a very immature way to get control of you and you have to be able to decide if he is trying wants your advise because you were obviously close for a while or if he is using a situation to control you.
A classic example of this that we see all of the time is teenagers who say they will kill themselves if you break up with them. It's immature and controlling and you need to realize no matter what does happen, that you should not feel guilt y because you are not responsible for other people's actions.
If you do feel bad about his friend passing away (I had a very similar situation with a guy I dated), send him a card with $10 or something. Tell him to have a guys night out with his friends that can help him get through this and that the first round is on you.
If you truly wish to end the relationship then it must be ended conclusively. Expressing condolences over the loss of his friend is one thing, but giving him a card and $10 is another. Don't forget that this was just another game tactic to keep even the slimmest line of communication open with you. It reminds me of that joke about the desperate guy who wanted a date with a hot girl. She tells him "not in a million years", and he says (to himself) "alright! I'll see her in a million years and 1 day -I hope it's a Friday!" Instead of trying to avoid and outwit him, I suggest you print the answers you get here and show them to him. Tell him good luck and best wishes, please move on, and don't be a naive teenager and harm himself - he's a respectable grown man with more intelligence, common sense and self-worth than that. ----If this does'nt work, get the restraining order.
Answer 4 / 4
Submitted 349 days ago...
Well, he keeps putting these guilt trips on you because you let him. If you don't talk to him, as in don't answer calls/e-mails etc. then you won't have to feel bad. If you've made it clear, that should be end of story. As in, you don't have to talk to him, and you don't have to feel bad. I mean it's real sad about his friend and all, but I am sure he has other people to console him, family/other friends. I mean he talked to someone else before you two were together. Those same people will still be there for him --haha, unless it was some other unlucky girl!! Hope I was some help!
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