Is it to late

After forty wonderful years together don't give up on each other now. You are going through a rough period, and that will cause a strain in any marriage. But together, you can overcome this! I think you two just need to figure out new ways of coping with your health issues with a positive, hopeful attitude. Tell your 'beautiful angel' how much you love her and that you don't want to live without her. Sit down together and talk about some of the issues that you think may be driving you apart. Together, work out a plan of how you are going to deal with these issues. Spend time together just having fun, the way you did when you were courting. Begin 'dating' again. I believe your wife is still in love with you, but right now she is very overwhelmed with work and the health issues. She is withdrawing because she is stressed out. Help her find ways to deal with the stress. Help her try to relax more when she is at home. Know this, if you left, it would not be easier on her -- it would be harder. It is very difficult to live alone after you have had loving companionship for forty years. It may seem to you that your wife is distraught and unhappy now, but if you left, believe me, it would be even worse for her. She needs you as much as you need her. You two can work this out, I know you can. Pray together regularly. Have fun together regularly. Show each other how much you appreciate each other each and every day. Show your love for each other in special little ways. This is just a bump in the road for you two. Don't let it detour you into a divorce. Wishing you and your spouse many blessings in your future together.

In the span of 40 years, it is all but certain that you will experience both sides of "for better or for worse". Having spent the majority of that time in marital bliss, it is probably a major shock to your wife to have to make the shift from equal partner to caretaker/provider and whether she's completely aware of it or not, there's some buried resentment bubbling just below the surface. There's a part of her that wants to say "this is not what I signed on for", but in fact you both did, especially when you take a four-decades-long trip together. If there is any way possible that you could push yourself to become a contributing member of this partnership once again, your effort alone could be enough to alleviate some of the tension you sense between the two of you. To help you deal with your short-term memory loss, you could try keeping a pen and notepad with you at all times and fill it with helpful notes or "triggers" that will help you get through the day. Surprising your wife with tokens of your appreciation (handpicked flowers, notes, cards) will help to illustrate your intent to try to make things as normal as possible. Be open to all available therapies and medications to help you deal with seizures. The more you try, the better your chances of her rediscovering you all over again. Good luck and God bless.

I wonder if there is more that you could pursue with your medical issues. There are medications for memory loss such as Aricept, which has been used on Alzheimer's patients. There also anti-seizure medicines and, of course, erectile dysfunction meds like Viagra and Cialis.

Those are a lot medications and issues, but perhaps a very good doctor could help you sort it out. And if you can get some of your medical problems dealt with, perhaps you would be in a better position to work on your relationship with your wife.

It's a lot to deal with for both of you, and it certainly isn't easy. Talking things over with your wife can help you both get things out in the open, and figure out ways to get through this as a team. A couples counselor could help facilitate this.

A neurologist would probably be the best type of doctor to deal with the memory and seizure issues. If you don't have one, a good place look is a major teaching hospital.