Lack of Commitment?

I have been living with my boyfriend for 6 months. Previous to that we were together for a year. The problem is marriage. For both moral and personal reasons to me, it is very important to be married as opposed to just living together. This "need" for lack of a better word has been nagging at me and I keep feeling worse and worse about things-to the point where I actually think I am depressed now. I am constantly on the verge of tears.

I have mentioned this to him over the past several months occasionally. He says he wants to marry me, to be with me forever. This usually ends the conversation for a while, but nothing ever changes.

I finally told him today that he needs to move out because I don't like the way living with him without being married makes me feel about myself and our relationship. We talked for a while and he told me that he does want to marry me but there is still a part of him that is not ready, but he is very close. I didn't say anything because to me that doesn't change the situation. He had to go to work so the conversation was cut short, but I am not certain what to do from here.

Should I push for him to move out? Any advice?

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Answer 1 / 4

Submitted 251 days ago...

beautifulgrl

Authority (436)

I share the same belief with you, that a couple shouldn't live together until they are married. When this is something you believe, and something you want to follow I understand that going back on that can be hard. And that little voice in the back of your head starts to drive you insane!

I suggest that, for your sake and your relationships, that he moves out. This will most likely make your relationship even stronger, and you'll find out how much you truly love each other. He says he wants to marry you. Don't rush him. Don't rush into anything permanent that might not turn out to be the right decision in the end. I do think that him moving out till you guys get married would be the best choice for you guys.

Good luck!

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Answer 2 / 4

Submitted 250 days ago...

mahalo

Professor (1,186)

I think if you aren't comfortable with living together and it compromises your morals, then take a step back. Don't pressure him into getting married, but tell him you don't want to live with anyone until you are married. Talk to him in a rational voice and let him know it doesn't mean you are breaking up, and it's not an ultimatum (marry me or move out).

You should respect that he is not ready to make that step into marriage yet, and he in turn should respect that you don't want to live together before marriage. Sometimes as in this situation, moving in together makes things extremely complicated. Take a step back and if you are meant to be together, it'll happen more naturally in a place where you are both comfortable.

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Answer 3 / 4

Submitted 228 days ago...

Six682

Beginner (57)

Never PUSH anyone into marrage. It is horrible pressure on both. PLUS IMPORTANT! 6 months to decide that this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with is immature & not realistic.

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Answer 4 / 4

Submitted 169 days ago...

tomturkey

Brain (2,691)

It is kind of late to worry about not living together for moral reasons. If your trying to push him into a marriage before he is really ready to commit that would be wrong for the both of you. You have two choices either to continue to live with him as you are or move out. You know the old saying absent makes the heart grow fonder. If he comes to relize after your gone that he truly loves you then he will come running back to you. If he doesn't you have your answer. sometimes guys wait to long and end up losing their girl and if that happens it a be his fault not yours. Hopefully it go that far. Good luck

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