Should I stay or should I go?

O.k this is hard i can't tell you what to do but if it was me i'll let him go i been thought this all before in i can tell you he'll never change do you want to live your life with someone eles controling it i know it hard to walk away from the one you love i have friend that stay with there guy in i don't ever get to see them because there not alond to go anywhere but it all up to you fellow your heart but please don't stay with him just because of people telling you two it your life not there in if your scare here is a site that will help with everything you need

http://www.dovesprogram.com/

Like wow. I never expected that to happen. Maybe instead of having to argue all the time, ya'll can go and see a movie together, but let him chose because he will be the one paying for it all. Just go see a movie and have a good time and relax and be romantic instead of fisty.

Well if you stay he might get better or worse, but so far it hasn't changed. It turns out being our faults for being loving and caring. It's up to you to sacrifice the monster that you love and lose him, or sacrifice a normal life over a monster. I was laughing while reading this question because you were describing my boyfriend of 10 yrs

I would say leave him and be happier. The longer you stay with him the more attached you will be.

I can understand that based on how you two came together and time involved in the relationship you feel a strong attachment to your boyfriend, but the relationship as you describe it does not sound healthy and maybe even a little dangerous for you. Think about what it is that makes you want to stay. Why excuse his behavior? Would you accept his behavior from anyone else? What do your instincts tell you? Personally, I would say go. Even though it may be difficult it's healthier for you in the long run.

You should stay if he loved you the way you love him. And you should go if he never care the relationship. If you love someone you do everything that's make your partner happy.Someday you be able to find the right man who will accept you and love you and all.

Ok this is a tough one and also a common one I believe. Lets weigh things out. Make yourself a list on paper if you wish or just in your mind picture a balance scale. First think of all the positives in your relationship and as you set each one in the left scale pan decide how much it should weigh down the scale as far as importance. Then think of all the negatives and do the same for the right scale pan. Take your time and be honest with yourself. After all if you can't be honest and sincere to youself who can you trust? As far as the arguments go there is always two sides to every argument and sometimes it is hard to see both sides clearly. Especially when the two people aren't exactly arguing about the same thing. Which I find to be quite common. One reason is because some people tend to hide their true feelings. They may say they are upset over one thing when really it is something completely different that they are upset or even more likely they are affraid of. Fear is our biggest drawback as humans and also our most valued protection. If as you say your boyfriend (and you) had a less than ideal childhood then whatever happened to him as a child can only be "repaired" by facing it and letting go of it. This has got to be one of the hardest things we can do in our lives. Sometimes therapy helps sometimes it doesn't. As momto2boys said we really can't tell you what to do however I can't help but say that the person you describe in your post sounds like someone with deap seated control issues which may stem from abandonment or trust issues who may not physically abuse you but is definately subjecting you to psychological abuse which may turn into phsysical abuse or worse! One thing I am certain of is that you need to decide soon what is best for you and act on it. Seek outside help if necessary. Counseling if at all possible. The longer you allow this to go on as it is the more normal it will seem to both of you and the harder it will be to change. One last thing. You say you love him to death. And I think I know what you mean because I have been in a similar situation before. What is your definition of "love"? Remember "love" and "need" are two totally different things neither one necesarily bad unless you confuse the two but when combined they are two of the ingredients for an awesome relationship. Also remember that it's a lot easier to find someone to fullfill our needs than it is to find someone to share our love with. There is an old saying that says "If you love something let it go." in reallity this does two things. It gives you time away from them to see if you really do love them and it also tests how much or if they really love you. Because if they do love you they will come back. In your case come back as a changed and hopefully better man. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Without even reading anyting posted before me, I am going to answer this...
I know that you want to work it out so you can be with him, and be happy, but the things that you have wrote are only first steps. If he is not willing to get help for his anger and temper, then there is no reason for you to stay.
Take it from me, I was in an abusive relationship when I was young and it always seemed like it was going to be ok and get better, but then it only got worse. And worse.
Without help, he will not get better! Dont take a chance. Whether it is emotional abuse or physical, it is not right and you should not put up with it, whether you love him or not.
I am not going to tell you that if he does things like this he does not love you. That probably is not true. In most cases there IS love, but he does not know how to treat you and he does not have self control, dont blame him for that, blame him for not wanting help if that is the case.
Good luck, let us know if we can do anything.
-Lissa

Wow

know that you want to work it out so you can be with him, and be happy, but some thing's isn't ment to be you need to leave him because of the fact that he treat's you like he's your father instead of your boyfriend who is he to control you seriously? If you don't leave him now he's gonna be the one to put his hand's on you an you say he hasn't hit you but think about it he act's like he's gonna hit you by balling up his fist so maybe one day he's gonna ball up his fist an actually hit you. He doesn't want you to have a job so when he feel's as if he's tired of you an he's done with you he's gonna leave you an were you gonna go what you gonna do because yall are not married an you don't have no money so then what are you gonna do? I say F**** him an go find you a job and do what you feel is right because before you know it this man can be the cause of you getting hurt an be the cause of your death seriously my cuzin was just like you in one point of her like an everything I'm telling you is the same I told her. I can't make you do anything nobody can make you do nothing but if you really want help follow your heart an leave this man what can you do cook an clean wow big deal you can't talk to your friend's ? do you talk to your family? think about stuff like that your missing out on alot in this big world an why? all because of a man like i told my cuzin an my friend's your not gonna put your foot down until your feed up an when you become feed up your gonna become tired an when you become tired your gonna put your foot down an that's gonna be that an he nor nobody else man or woman can ever rule your life but think about this seriously

VERY IMPORTANT! This is a lethal situation and you have to get out now. This is urgent. He is trying to isolate you from everyone you know, which is why he doesn't want you to get a job, go on the internet, talk with or hang out with any of your friends. He belittles you so he can keep you down. This is called "leveling". Once he sees that threatening to hit you no longer works, he will cross that line, I repeat, he will cross that line. His ultimate goal is to cut you off from everyone so that you will have nobody but him to turn to. He does not want you to have opinions. He does not want you to have a way out financially, another reason he doesn't want you to work. He is already in the process of turning you into a human pincushion, otherwise you would already be gone. Face it, he is damaged goods and he wants to take you down with him, but here's the silver lining: you know there's something wrong, that's why you've gone outside for advice. Get out now before he turns you into a human punching bag, and eventually, into someone even you yourself won't recognize a year from now. Run and don't look back. I am dead serious. If you don't believe me, try this: read your own posting as if it was somebody else, then ask yourself, Would I put up with this?