I can understand how he feels. When people get into relationships at a young age, one they feel like will last their entire life, it makes them sort of worry about the fact that this is the person that they will spend the rest of their lives with. It doesn't have anything to do with you, I suppose he just has some slight issues with letting go and fear about commitment, but then again I don't know him at all. In my last relationship I felt like I found "the one" which scared me cause I like the dating scene and am not ready to settle down to one person for life as of yet. If this makes any sense at all, I hope I was able to help.
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Question
Submitted 23 days ago...
What does it mean when your significant other tells you that they wish they had been single for longer?
Me and my boyfriend had a talk. He told me that he started to feel this about the time we decided to move in together and when we did. We have been together for two years. with only two month seperaction from his last relationship of 5 years. I don`t know how to feel about this.
I`m a bit hurt and very scared after hearing this. He said he wished he got to experience flirting and being single more in between, and just through out his life.
He also said I shouldnt be worried about it at all, and I am the best thing that happened to him.
So now I`m confused and dont know how i should feel or react to this.
Answers
Answer 2 / 4 -
Submitted 23 days ago...
It sounds like he made you feel a bit insecure with his admission, which he probably did not mean to do, but I am thinking he wanted you to know this for a reason. Since you are having these feelings of uncertainty, I believe you need to ask him some very pointed questions in order to clarify how this feeling of his will affect your future together. Does he feel he can settle down with you permanently and get married without first having 'played the field'? Does he feel he can be content and satisfied with your relationship for the long haul if he never experiences the freedom of being 'single' and 'flirting' with other girls? It is better to get all of this out in the open now, rather than continue on and then years down the road discover that he's decided he wants to explore other relationships. If you never get it out in the open, you will worry about it and it will hurt your relationships anyhow. Let him know that you are not going to force him into a commitment that he doesn't feel ready to make. I wish you both the best.
Awarded Answer (What’s This?)
Answer 3 / 4 - Submitted 23 days ago...
On the plus side, he went ahead with his decision to move in with you anyway, which should put you at least partially at ease. This is sort of like the person who wished that they had gone to college after hearing the "good" stories about it. Most of us can tell one or two really good singles stories, but if you are the kind of person who prefers to be in a relationship, you also know that these "good" experiences are often fleeting with a lot of down time in between. Here are the facts: he was in a five year relationship before he met you and you've been with him for two years, so he seems like a long-term relationship kind of guy. He prefers stability, which is probably why he only spent a couple of months in between relationships because when he had the opportunity, he didn't take advantage of it. He also told you not to worry about it and that you are the best thing that ever happened to him. I agree with answer #2 in that you should tell him how this made you feel, but truthfully, I don't think you have much to worry about. I truly believe that he knows in the back of his mind that the single life he envisions is much like a sexual fantasy: it's almost always better in your mind than it turns out to be in the real world.
This answer was edited by Laotian842 23 days ago.
Reason: clarification
Answer 4 / 4 -
Submitted 20 days ago...
I believe he regrets getting into such a serious relationship so soon after his last relationship. He did not get a chance to even relief himself completely from his prior relationship.. I am not saying that he does not love you.. there might be a little less to that though.. i believe you are just a REBOUND GIRL...
This Question was awarded 17 days ago therefore you can no longer post an Answer. However you may post a comment below.
Comments
Submitted 17 days ago...
Thanks you all for the good answers, was hard to pick between the top three ones posted.
It is stressful and I did ask the questions suggested in the second. In a way I really feel like a rebound girlfriend. He told me that he didn't know if he could be with me and be happy without 'experiencing more to life'.
I had him decided which one was more important to him, being single, or being with me. He said me, but deep down I still hurt and don't know what to do.
I guess we both now wish we had meet later down the road, but mean to much to each other to let each other go.
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