If you are making enough to support him and three children, he either needs to get off the couch or get out of the house, because you obviously don't need him and you don't need his baggage. Your third option, assuming you have medical coverage, is to make him seek professional help so he can recognize and fix this self-destructive behavior that is threatening to take you down with him. You're above this; if it's wearing you out, your children will eventually be affected as well. Even if it's a menial job that he takes (and he needs to be reminded that it's his fault if he doesn't like the job), it's time for him to get with the program and be told directly by you that you are only human and that humans can only tolerate so much. You might want to show him how bad it's gotten: you're reaching out to strangers for advice! When you married him, you signed on for a partnership. He's either on the team or he's not.
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Submitted 72 days ago...
Not feeling the love
Myhusband said about a 1 1/2 years I have changed toward him. As I think a back in time, that is when he was always moan and groan about. I asked him to stop. Money was and is still tight. He got fired back in Dec. because of his mind set. all this before xmas. Did not work until Feb. I found him a job. Work was okay for awhile. Now he quits his job, in this market. We have no extra money. Not sure what to do. I work full time and we have 3 young children. He now has stopped moaning, in the last month. No job in sight. How much could I take? I feel nothing, I care and love him. He wears me out.
He is your HUsband and when you got married you took the oath of staying together through the good and the bad. Right now you are having a hard time, think how he must feel probably worse than you because he feels helpless. Instead of getting on his case help him, you guys will make it through you just have to support eachother. Divorce should not even be considered because marriage is sacred.
If you are not happy with yourself its hard to be happy around others. your husband might just feel a bit inadequate cuz hes not the "bread winner" or "the man" he may be suffering from low self-esteem and may not realize what cues you and the family are taking from him. he may just want you to see himself as he once was in your eyes. NEED him. to kill spiders,carry grocery bags,fix something and be APPRECIATIVE of what he does. marriage is in sickness and health and it sounds like he may just need you to hold out a hand and pull him back to where he (and you)once were. there may be a time where you need a hand to grab onto. and money is not everything. good luck:)
Right now is a difficult time for many people. Have you both tried marriage counseling or really sat down an talk? It sounds like right now he may need your support the most. With the kids and working full time, you are just as busy, but if you both are not receiving support and encouragement from each other, there is no way this marriage will work.
You have some very good advice on this board. I cannot add anything more than what has been given , take it and use it, good luck
You are in a unique situation. Stop complaining to him.Your roles have been switched. He can now care for the kids while you work. Let him help care for the children while you work. Sit down with him when it is time to pay bills. If possible cut out things that are not necessary to survive. Cut back on some of his toys or goodies. Communicate with him without pointing fingers or blaming him. He needs a hand just like you. Cut back of gifts and extras. You both can make it happen
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Not feeling the love
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