How should i go about moving my four year old in with my husband and i ?

Assuming your parents are all for it, won't fight for custody, will be given a wide latitude in visitation, some input as advice and your husband is willing to be dad with all all the encumberances and responsibilities, the best thing is for the grandparents to talk to her first without being present to set the stage for her to go with mom and dad for school and school related functions, then another talk with you present and a final talk with all four adults present. She might even get a few weekends with the grandparents during the school year as a present or reward. You can't simply just rip her out of her environment and damage her. She too young too understand much and it will take a lot of time. You can also enlist the help of another child her age and her parents as a buffer to exemplify the proper order of where a young girl should be raised. Get ready for a lo of rejection and a little ridicule but it will be worth it when she finally gets used to the situation. I wish you all well.

I was in a similar situation.. except my daughter was taking by her father at 2 month and i didnt see her again til she was around 4yrs old. when i "met" her again she had no idea who i was and was scared to have anything to do with me. but me and my new husband approached in a friendship manner and took things very slow.. we started with fieldtrips as a family to the zoo and picnics to gain her trust, gradually she began spending the night once a week or every two weeks, then weekends and we prayed ALOT! EVENTUALLY SHE WAS CALLING US TO ASK IF SHE COULD SPEND THE NIGHT. a situation like this is kindda like potty training lol you gotta wait for them to be ready you cannot force it on them..i hope you understand its gonna be tough

Remember there is no bond between human beings stronger than the bond between a mother and her child. I would start by telling her how you feel and how you want to make sure she feels and that is what is most important over all is her feelings. And that you want to be a really good mommy so you want her to let you know what she wants if she ever wants to come live with you now she can. So write your phone number everywhere and the very minute she decides that she wants to come live with mommy she will call, so you won't worry. The power of suggestion is powerful if stated positively with embedded commands. Like when you decide you want to come live with me and just visit nana, you will let me know, right? okay I just want to make sure, because if you want to come live with me right now, you can. I mean if you are really sure then we can pack all your things today... it's up to you. Nana will visit and we will visit her too. You could come stay on weekend but I don't want you to move in with me unless you are really sure that is what You want to do. So let me know... Then back off and give her space. Say this everytime about an hour before you leave so she can respond on her own. No pressure, just honesty. You want her happy. Actually, she is too young to make the decision herself but you can make it appear if she is. Children don't develop the part of the brain that has the ability to reason and analyze until 8-12 yrs old so use emotions and feelings t create desire. Best of luck. lisa

It is very important that you first gain her lve and her trust but you are her parent and it is also important that you give her stability. no one likes change, especialy children. Let her know tht she will sill be able to see her grandparents and that they still love her very much but you love her also and it is best for her to be in your home now. (if it is) most important, do what is truly best for the child not what is best for your ego.