The mother supports my daughter on wanting to be a boy *she is 8*!

Sounds like mom is three puppies short of a pet shop. First you're going to have to find out how your little girl is doing in school socially and academically. If the report comes back poor, then file for permanent custody. She is way too young to determine her own sexuality and mom is wrong helping her along. Your daughter needs to be evaluated clinically and the county mental health service might be able to help. You can also enlist the aid of a clergyman who may have other resources. Gay or straight is a choice and not to be drummed into an eight year old brain which is exactly what you wife seems to be doing.

I wouldnt worry about it at this age its prob a phase shes going thru .if u make her think this is important to u and u hate it she might want to do it more. so just act like it doesnt bother u and see if she lets it go.

I agree that it is probably just a stage at this point. I do not believe that being gay is a choice, and I do not believe a girl dressing as a boy will "make her" become gay. She either is or she isn't whether she knows it or not. (This point is debatable, of course - some Do believe it is a choice. But I don't and neither does anyone I know who is gay!) . After all, many cross dressing men are not gay. What i worry about is your daughter's feelings.
Thinking about it, it probably isn't surprising that she wants to be a boy. If all she has is brothers, then that's all she knows! Just be sure to let her know that you will love her to pieces no matter who she loves or who she becomes in the future. It's obvious you care about your daughter which is one great thing she has going for her. My daughter is also 8 and I would feel comfortable asking her something like "Do you want to get married when you get older? What do you think your husband will be like? etc.." Anyway, I don''t know if any of this has made sense, but i wish you the best!

I would definitely try to find out what is causing this problem. I think your daughter probably really just wanted to do things like her brothers do or to be a tomboy, and then for some reason, her mother decided she wanted her to be a boy. I don't know what kind of situation this is, but her reasoning could even be to get at you. If the mother is encouraging it, your daughter has probably figured out that her mother wants her to be a boy and is trying to please her mother. Some people are very progay and it sounds like her mother and her side of the family are just that and encouraging your daughter to be that way as well. This is a very crucial age for something like this to be going on. i would recommend that you talk to her school teachers and anybody else she has contact with to see if she is having any problems. When she is with you, I would try to figure out if it is actually your daughter's choice to do this, or if she is trying to please her mother. I would suggest maybe taking her to walmart and letting her pick out a toy- see if she wants a doll or dress up clothes or boys toys, or maybe an outfit- take her to the little girls section and see if there's anything she wants.Chances are if she has her choice, she'll want the girly things if her mother isn't around. Don't make this a big deal to your daughter and don't let on as to what you're trying to do. When you figure this out, it should give you some better insight on how to go about handling the situation.

To help clearify some of this my ex wife which who has custdoy of my 8 yr daughter has two other children by two other dads. one is a 13 yr boy and a 2 yr little girl. my ex wife dresses the baby in dresses and paints her nails. the boy is your average 13 yr. i have taken her to pick out clothes; all she wants is boy stuff and when i buy her girly things she says my mom buys me boy stuff and i wear my brothers cothes * i want boy stuff*! and she will not have anything thing to do with any girly toys. and her mother allows her to have nothing but male toys! am i wrong to let this scare me? it breaks my heart that she doesnt have just a very few friends. she is in the 2ND grade she is so sweet and i hate that she gets rediculed for this. when we go out (even her mother has said this has happened to her - she laughs) to eat or into a store people call her a boy! help i want my daughter (tomboy) back!

Ok wow.. When i was young i lived with my grandmother for family reasons, and she cut my hair like a boy and dressed me like a boy..I was so ashamed personally and kids at school would ask if i was a boy or a girl and it was upsetting. Although i was a tomboy ! I still wanted pretty hair . I had no bloody say untill my mum saw what she had done.. And started narking at her... For a few years.

Allthough your daughter wants 'to be a boy' i reckon the boys just do pretty cool things like skate and ride bikes not wear dresses and play with .. You know your daughter better than anyone and if you think it is a stage, then try talking to her again . There are some pretty cool sports girls to look up to... And yeah Care a Protection won't do shit unless the child is at risk.Or unhappy.
Btw there risk assesment team must be on acid.
and even if it is not a stage i agree, so what if she wants to be gay but don't force it same with religion and everything else. That is taking a child looking up to her aunt way out of preportion don't you think?

Also ....the over dressing the 2yr old up in girly stuff might be contributing.. she might hate the fuss and the smell of the nail polish and doesn't want to be fussed over with brushes and bits and bobs