Relationship

Hon I'm so sorry. Behaving like that is bad enough, doing it in front of the kids is just horrible. It's difficult, but the first step is to stand up for yourself, so I applaud you for doing so. Your kids need to see their mom being strong. There are places you can go for help, call Child Services or Social Services. Get some help! Take him to court and get child support established, he needs to take care of you. Be strong girl, you can do it!

I have no phone..to call places...i can use my friends phone when i can get over there...we did go to social services and the amount he is paying is what i pay for rent..i have to pay my electric and gas and toilet paper, tampons, diapers and such with the money my mother gives me, other wise i have to have sex for them things..i knows its a terrible place for me but i dont know where to turn anymore..im so depressed and he threatens me constantly cause he has money and a nice place and he knows i have nothing and no one to help me and my kids..they think he is god, but its cause he is hardly ever around and he never disciplines them so im always the bad guy. anyway thanks for the advice. maybe i can go to the courthouse and see what can be done to keep him out of my life. but he says he will stop paying rent if i ever have a date over, so i dont date. im lonely...he says he wont pay for electric if i dont do things to him..im scared i'll loose my kids, and my home and the school my daughter goes to i want her to stay in...im sooooo scared...but im trying to get loose. just dont know where to turn..thank you for helping

There are a lot of options out there for women in your situation. Some of the things you can get so that you don't have to be controlled by him are:

Section 8 housing where they give you rent on a sliding scale
Free or close to free daycare so you can go to school or find a job
Food stamps that allow you to buy nutritious food for you and your children
By the time you get that help, and get his child support, you should have plenty of money to live until things get better

My heart goes out to you. If you want to tell me what city you are in, I can find a women's shelter where you don't necessarily need to stay, but the employees there know the systems in and out and can hook you up with any resources you need to create a better life for you and your kids. I worked in a womens shelter for a few years when I was in college helping women like you find the help you need, they are wonderful people who will try to help you. That would be your best route to go.

I live in norfolk virginia..im trying to move away from here to williamsburg virginia where my family is. they are trying to help me, but have little themselves and no room in their home..im scared to go to a shelter because of the kids, i dont want them to experience a shelter..but im really going to have to buck up soon cause i applied for custody yesterday and now my boyfriend is saying he's moving back in our apartment and kicking me out..he is trying to take my kids...i just want legal custody and he can have visitation, i dont want to keep their father from them, just from me..he scares me on a daily basis, and has controlled my life long enough...i wish i knew where to turn..i went to social services, they gave me shelters to call, tanf to apply for.but i have to leave here soon!! like yesterday...im so scared.

The wait for section 8 housing is too long. you need out now. the best thing for you to do is go apply for every kind of assistance you can get. in my state, you can get food stamps to buy groceries, welfare for your bills, and some people can even get temporary cash assistance. i applied and get my child care paid for by the government. then you can get a job, buy a car and get by till you find somewhere else to live, away from him. also, when the government sees how much money they're having to put out for you, they may raise his child support. also, in my state, i can move into an income based apartment. they make sure each of your children has their own bedroom, and it's only 10% of your gross monthly income. that way when you do get a job, you can move away from him, so he can't bother you or threaten you anymore. you just have to be strong honey, that's the only way he wont be able to hurt you anymore.

God bless you all for caring about someone you dont even know! i am applying for things the best way i can for now..he broke my cell phone the other day!! dang..but my mother is helping me when she can drive down..she lives an hr. away..i get foodstamps..now i just need some help with daycare..im trying to find out about rent help, there is an apartment close to here..i hate to take my 5yr old out of her school..trying to make this easy on her tool..she does love her daddy..and he's not that bad of a father when he decides to come around..anyway, again thanks and i will let you know whats up..thanks for your big hearts..the world needs more people like yall..

Your life is just as importing as his. Dont let him make you give up your life because if he dose you will no longer be you. you will only be his wife and the mother of his kids he will not let you have your wone life DONT GIVE HIM THAT POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are places called hope house where i live they are battered women shelters they have everything there to help you and the plus side of all that is they help you get on your feet to support your self and the kids. And the greatest side to these places are no men are allowed on the premises or they are arrested maybe you should contact one of these places