You ARE being manipulated. Your best course of action (in my opinion) is to stay where you are in a job you are happy with. In today's volitale economy, your best security is a good job with a future. That will contribute more towards your being able to take care of yourself and your family than anything else you might do.
Although Skoolie and LissaC will jump all over me for saying this; I still believe people who love each other have to make periodic sacrifices to accomplish what is best for all. It is traditional for a woman to go where her man goes. As you said, you can barely get along even when you're together, so what is the point of being together in a situation where job stresses might make your relationship even worse.
Your girlfriend is being a child and is attempting to manipulate your behavior because of your feelings for your child. Stay where you are, keep the job you like and tell her she has to move.
Submitted 59 days ago...
What do i do?
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. At the time our relationship started, I made a career move and moved away, approximately 2 hours from our home. She moved with me and we had issues here and there and split up. I was still "seeing" her off and on and soon found out that she was pregnant. We decided to work things out. When the child reached 6 months, we decided she would move back home for her to finish school and the price of daycare (our mothers could watch him). The plan was for her to move back when school was over...or so I thought. We argue like anyone else, but it's getting to be too much to deal with. I always wanted to be with her because I love her and I want an ideal life for my child. Anyways... 1 year into it, she tells me now that she is not moving back to where my job is, and she wants me to get a job in our hometown. I want to do the right thing, i just don't know what the right thing is. Should I move home and hope that our relationship works out and be closer to my child? Should I keep the job I love and be single parents? We can't do the long distance thing, we can hardly do it living together. I feel manipulated... please help. Thank you
Answer 2 / 3
Submitted 54 days ago...
You want to do the RIGHT thing. The right thing would have been to be married before bringing an innocent life into the mess you call a relationship.
BUT......since you have what you have the right thing is to be a daddy to the baby. You two need to live near each other and co-parent, and try counseling to work out the differences between you. I bet you are both under 23 years old, and so you are both consumed with your own issues and needs.
Hopefully, you will be able to come together for the baby's sake and get married and live a good life. It isn't too late.
It sounds like you are a good person, that you want to do what is right. I hope that she does also. Please, don't miss out on your baby's first years, or any for that matter. If you two can't get along, agree to not talk bad about the other to the child as it is growing up, and be there for her/him.
I say, go back to where your parents, your "girlfriend", and her parents are. Give it a year and see where things go. The child needs you and her, and the extended family. Keeping a young woman away from her family when she has a young child sometimes isn't the best thing, especially if she is not mature enough to handle it. Keep in mind, she may have been suffering some post partum depression and needed mommy there. If you are young, a year isn't going to matter that much.
The last two generations, maybe three, has grown up in broken families. Parents are so very important. Don't let anyone tell you that a child doesn't need a daddy.
Your priority now that you have made a baby is the baby. Not you, not her. The baby!
Answer 3 / 3
Submitted 34 days ago...
Unfortunately, when we make the grown up decisions that result in consequences like bringing a child in the world, we have to be the grown up and sacrifice whatever is necessary for the well-being of the child. I commend you for being the kind of man that is considering what is best for the child. No one can tell you the best decision to make other than you need to put the child's needs above your own.
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We're going to dinner at my girlfriend's parents this weekend. 1st time I'm meeting them btw. Her mom wants to make me Swedish Meatballs and that sounds gross. How do I get out of it?
